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Entry tags:
[CROSSOVER] The Fine Art of Acquisitions
Title: The Fine Art of Acquisitions
Fandom: Disney's Aladdin (TV) / Yu-Gi-Oh!
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1078
Notes: Things I had to look up for this fic:
1) the name of an Egyptian magician (the one mentioned is Old Kingdom, for the record)
2) whether Xerxes has nostrils (he appears not to)
Warnings: Extreme stupidity. Also I haven't watched any episodes of the TV series in like three years, so please forgive me if I've somehow screwed something up.
Summary: Mozenrath terrorizes a black market dealer in Egyptian artifacts and ends up with something interesting.
"No, no, no! Honestly, don't you have anything of value in this pile of junk?"
Xerxes stuck poked his head up from the pile of papyrus he'd been wriggling through. His master was beginning to sound annoyed, and bad things happened to people when his master was annoyed. If bad things were happening, Xerxes wanted to see -- if only so he could get out of the way in time. In the time Xerxes had been snuffling around in the decaying documents, the trader had lost his hopeful grin and developed a thin sheen of sweat. Xerxes' master had that effect on people.
"Esteemed sir," the trader said, wringing his spindly hands, "the spells alone--"
"Oh, the spells! Don't even get me started on them." Xerxes' master let the scroll he'd been scanning roll shut with a snap and tossed it disdainfully over his shoulder. The moment it hit the ground, something many-legged scurried out of the shadows to carry it away, presumably to dispose of it elsewhere. Or use it as a nest. The trader followed it with his eyes, making a strangled sound. "Do you know what that worthless fragment you assured me was a list of Djedi's most secret of spells contained? An anti-hair loss charm. Do I look like I need an anti-hair loss charm?"
The trader practically tripped over himself in his assurances that Xerxes' master most assuredly did not, and that he was, in fact, the pinnacle of follicle perfection.
"I suppose the spell for raising the dead could be considered useful, but, honestly, have you looked outside? I'm up to my ears in Mamluks as it is!" Xerxes' master strode forwards until he could jab the trader's chest with a finger. The trader looked petrified. The fact that the finger belonged to Xerxes' master's gloved hand probably contributed to that, since the magical leather could only do so much to conceal the sensation of bare bone poking into his chest. "Incidentally, you'd better find something in that bag of yours worth my time soon, or you'll be joining them. I think shambling and half-dead would be a good look on you. What do you think, Xerxes? Anything remotely useful on your end?"
Xerxes gurgled a laugh, swishing up and out of the papyrus pile to float leisurely as his master's shoulders. "Trashhhh," he hissed, favoring the now openly-sweating trader with a gap-toothed grin.
His master gave a dramatic sigh, locking eyes with Xerxes. "That's what I get for not picking my black market magical artifact dealers carefully. Make a note of that, Xerxes. Write it down: every future kidnapping victim gets a thorough background check before I waste the magic to bring them here."
Xerxes couldn't actually write, but he nodded enthusiastically anyway.
"M-Most masterful of mages! I seem to have forgotten one item that may be of interest!" the trader all but screeched.
Both Xerxes and his master turned to look at the man expectantly. The trader quickly fell to his knees to scramble through one his bags. He seemed to take an inordinately long time of it, letting out a gasp of relief when his hands finally closed on whatever it was.
"Well?" Xerxes' master demanded, tapping his foot impatiently. Xerxes circled around to stare curiously at the mystery item.
It was a necklace. The main body of the pendant was a gold hoop containing a triangular plate marked with an eye, while five jingling spines completed the design. The trader held it by the simple cord threaded through the pendant, hand shaking, as though he were afraid to touch it. "It's cursed," he said proudly.
Xerxes exchanged glances with his master. "You have to realize that cursed Egyptian artifacts are a dime a dozen," his master drawled. "What makes this one special?"
"Ssshiny," Xerxes pointed out. He circled closer, peering intently at the eye in the center of the pendant. "Evil," he added, after a moment's examination.
"Evil, really? Well, that's a start." Xerxes' master reached out to take the pendant-- and immediately jerked his gloved hand back with a hiss. The trader let out a yelp of surprise and lost his grip, but a blast of magic caught the pendant before it could hit the floor.
It hung in the air, spines swaying slightly within the confines of the levitation spell, while Xerxes' master fixed it with a slow, nasty smile. "Aww, isn't that cute. It tried to possess me. But I'm afraid Destain didn't raise any fools." He paused. "Well, okay, he did, but I killed my fellow apprentices years ago, so the point stands."
He made a little circle with his finger and the pendant began to slowly rotate. "Oh, the magic that made you was truly dark, wasn't it. And inside--"
Both the trader and Xerxes were startled when his master began to laugh. The trader attempted to crab-walk backwards, while Xerxes did a surprised spin in the air.
"That's rich, it really is! Sorry, but I'm afraid you missed the camel train on me selling my soul to an evil artifact. Besides, I only want to destroy the world an eensy weensy bit, not completely. Who wants to be the all-powerful overlord of a pile of rubble? Boring." His gaze fell on the trembling trader. "What, you're still here?"
In a truly heroic effort, the trader wheezed, "My… payment…"
Xerxes' master rolled his eyes. "Right, your payment. Well, I guess you can live. Consider yourself lucky, and consider our business concluded." He snapped his fingers and both the trader and his wares vanished, possibly back to where they'd come from. Xerxes wasn't going to bet on it, though, just in case.
With that taken care of, Xerxes' master turned his attention back to the pendant. "By the way, did I mention that I have a particular aversion to thieves? Because I do. I really, really do." With that, he turned and began to walk out of the room, still levitating the pendant in front of him.
Xerxes blinked in confusion and slithered after him, feeling rather put out about how his Master seemed to prefer talking to a cursed necklace to him. Xerxes knew he wasn't the best conversation partner, but it was the principle of the thing. "Massssster?"
"I think I'll put it in the drawing room, where it won't clash with the decor. It'll be a good conversation piece." His master smirked. "Get it? Conversation piece? Oh, I crack myself up."
Fandom: Disney's Aladdin (TV) / Yu-Gi-Oh!
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1078
Notes: Things I had to look up for this fic:
1) the name of an Egyptian magician (the one mentioned is Old Kingdom, for the record)
2) whether Xerxes has nostrils (he appears not to)
Warnings: Extreme stupidity. Also I haven't watched any episodes of the TV series in like three years, so please forgive me if I've somehow screwed something up.
Summary: Mozenrath terrorizes a black market dealer in Egyptian artifacts and ends up with something interesting.
"No, no, no! Honestly, don't you have anything of value in this pile of junk?"
Xerxes stuck poked his head up from the pile of papyrus he'd been wriggling through. His master was beginning to sound annoyed, and bad things happened to people when his master was annoyed. If bad things were happening, Xerxes wanted to see -- if only so he could get out of the way in time. In the time Xerxes had been snuffling around in the decaying documents, the trader had lost his hopeful grin and developed a thin sheen of sweat. Xerxes' master had that effect on people.
"Esteemed sir," the trader said, wringing his spindly hands, "the spells alone--"
"Oh, the spells! Don't even get me started on them." Xerxes' master let the scroll he'd been scanning roll shut with a snap and tossed it disdainfully over his shoulder. The moment it hit the ground, something many-legged scurried out of the shadows to carry it away, presumably to dispose of it elsewhere. Or use it as a nest. The trader followed it with his eyes, making a strangled sound. "Do you know what that worthless fragment you assured me was a list of Djedi's most secret of spells contained? An anti-hair loss charm. Do I look like I need an anti-hair loss charm?"
The trader practically tripped over himself in his assurances that Xerxes' master most assuredly did not, and that he was, in fact, the pinnacle of follicle perfection.
"I suppose the spell for raising the dead could be considered useful, but, honestly, have you looked outside? I'm up to my ears in Mamluks as it is!" Xerxes' master strode forwards until he could jab the trader's chest with a finger. The trader looked petrified. The fact that the finger belonged to Xerxes' master's gloved hand probably contributed to that, since the magical leather could only do so much to conceal the sensation of bare bone poking into his chest. "Incidentally, you'd better find something in that bag of yours worth my time soon, or you'll be joining them. I think shambling and half-dead would be a good look on you. What do you think, Xerxes? Anything remotely useful on your end?"
Xerxes gurgled a laugh, swishing up and out of the papyrus pile to float leisurely as his master's shoulders. "Trashhhh," he hissed, favoring the now openly-sweating trader with a gap-toothed grin.
His master gave a dramatic sigh, locking eyes with Xerxes. "That's what I get for not picking my black market magical artifact dealers carefully. Make a note of that, Xerxes. Write it down: every future kidnapping victim gets a thorough background check before I waste the magic to bring them here."
Xerxes couldn't actually write, but he nodded enthusiastically anyway.
"M-Most masterful of mages! I seem to have forgotten one item that may be of interest!" the trader all but screeched.
Both Xerxes and his master turned to look at the man expectantly. The trader quickly fell to his knees to scramble through one his bags. He seemed to take an inordinately long time of it, letting out a gasp of relief when his hands finally closed on whatever it was.
"Well?" Xerxes' master demanded, tapping his foot impatiently. Xerxes circled around to stare curiously at the mystery item.
It was a necklace. The main body of the pendant was a gold hoop containing a triangular plate marked with an eye, while five jingling spines completed the design. The trader held it by the simple cord threaded through the pendant, hand shaking, as though he were afraid to touch it. "It's cursed," he said proudly.
Xerxes exchanged glances with his master. "You have to realize that cursed Egyptian artifacts are a dime a dozen," his master drawled. "What makes this one special?"
"Ssshiny," Xerxes pointed out. He circled closer, peering intently at the eye in the center of the pendant. "Evil," he added, after a moment's examination.
"Evil, really? Well, that's a start." Xerxes' master reached out to take the pendant-- and immediately jerked his gloved hand back with a hiss. The trader let out a yelp of surprise and lost his grip, but a blast of magic caught the pendant before it could hit the floor.
It hung in the air, spines swaying slightly within the confines of the levitation spell, while Xerxes' master fixed it with a slow, nasty smile. "Aww, isn't that cute. It tried to possess me. But I'm afraid Destain didn't raise any fools." He paused. "Well, okay, he did, but I killed my fellow apprentices years ago, so the point stands."
He made a little circle with his finger and the pendant began to slowly rotate. "Oh, the magic that made you was truly dark, wasn't it. And inside--"
Both the trader and Xerxes were startled when his master began to laugh. The trader attempted to crab-walk backwards, while Xerxes did a surprised spin in the air.
"That's rich, it really is! Sorry, but I'm afraid you missed the camel train on me selling my soul to an evil artifact. Besides, I only want to destroy the world an eensy weensy bit, not completely. Who wants to be the all-powerful overlord of a pile of rubble? Boring." His gaze fell on the trembling trader. "What, you're still here?"
In a truly heroic effort, the trader wheezed, "My… payment…"
Xerxes' master rolled his eyes. "Right, your payment. Well, I guess you can live. Consider yourself lucky, and consider our business concluded." He snapped his fingers and both the trader and his wares vanished, possibly back to where they'd come from. Xerxes wasn't going to bet on it, though, just in case.
With that taken care of, Xerxes' master turned his attention back to the pendant. "By the way, did I mention that I have a particular aversion to thieves? Because I do. I really, really do." With that, he turned and began to walk out of the room, still levitating the pendant in front of him.
Xerxes blinked in confusion and slithered after him, feeling rather put out about how his Master seemed to prefer talking to a cursed necklace to him. Xerxes knew he wasn't the best conversation partner, but it was the principle of the thing. "Massssster?"
"I think I'll put it in the drawing room, where it won't clash with the decor. It'll be a good conversation piece." His master smirked. "Get it? Conversation piece? Oh, I crack myself up."
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